


Faith

by hyAdamsFoster



Series: In Between - Stef and Lena's Missing Scenes [4]
Category: The Fosters (TV 2013)
Genre: F/F, adamsfoster
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-27
Updated: 2016-02-27
Packaged: 2018-05-23 14:49:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6119851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyAdamsFoster/pseuds/hyAdamsFoster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A drabble about Stef in Under Water, after she sees Monte in Lena's office.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Faith

Is that how it was all these months? Her wife and that woman together in the office talking, sharing, being there for each other. Stef could not believe how broken she felt after seeing them in Lena’s office. Long ago, she’d learned to read every expression on Lena’s face. Each and every line on Lena’s face was as familiar as her own. She knew Lena has been sad, she was spilling hurt and Monte was receiving it. Too numb to do anything, she walked away, leaving them be. They certainly didn’t need her interrupting.

When, Stef got home all she could do was lie down. She’d never felt this insecure about Lena. She trusted Lena, but how long could this hold if Lena spent time and time with this woman while she deteriorated into a deformed mess? Soon, Lena would admit that she didn’t find her wife attractive anymore. Monte would listen and hold her and kiss her again, except this time Lena wouldn’t stop her. Lena would respond and they’d fall in love. Stef’s mind was stuck on a loop, over and over, Lena’s lips on that woman.

Stef couldn’t possibly compete. And what options did she have? She couldn’t risk her life and keep her breasts. That wasn’t an option. She’d have to just take it and wait for the inevitable. If not Monte, maybe someone else, someone with beautiful breasts, like she used to have. Well, Stef still had them, but not for long. And even now, they felt like her enemy. They were ticking time bombs, waiting to explode, to kill her and destroy her relationship.

Why did breasts matter so much to Lena? She guessed they always had. Stef herself knew that well. Lena had adored them with abandon since the first moment she got a hold of them. Stef had never imagined that she wouldn’t have them to entice Lena. To be fair, she hadn’t been enticing Lena in a while. And how could she re-engage her now, now that she’d be half a woman. It felt like a losing proposition. Yet, she couldn’t quit Lena. She’d take her for as long as Lena would have her. She just had no guarantee how long that might be. Lena was the love of her life, the one she’d always love. Stef only wished it had been the same for Lena. In retrospect, she wished they’d said the traditional vows, in sickness and in health. She didn’t realize that they wouldn’t make it a year before for better or for worse would become empty promises.

“You ok?” Lena’s concerned voice broke through her dark thoughts.

All Stef could do was sigh, “I didn’t sleep well last night.”

Lena didn’t push her, “Is there anything I can do?”

Stef refused to make eye contact, “I just need some rest.” If she had looked at Lena, maybe the tears would have come down her face. She wasn’t ready for this. The thought of losing Lena and her breasts all in one fateful operation was too much to bear. Luckily, Lena took the hint and left her alone. She’d been very accommodating recently and today she was grateful to be left alone in her grief.

She couldn’t lose Lena, this just wasn’t possible. She was a fighter, but how could she fight without all her tools at her disposal. It would be like playing basketball with only 4 players. She’d need a lot of faith to keep the hope alive. And there was only one thing that Stef Adams Foster lacked: faith.


End file.
